Port de la Lune

Wednesday 31 January 2007
Here and away
The band and the smoke
Playing the blues but I'm suffocating too
I don't even wonder what am I doing here
The touch of this girl seems sweet and caring
I remember whose lips are these
And let myself drown into that kiss
Intense, abandoned, everlasting
I don't know
I don't know
Tired in my mind, I guess.
I wish the sun would rise up again.
I wish a new morning
And to know who I am, at last.


Sunday 14 January 2007
Elle s'endort, enveloppée de blanc.
Derrière son visage apaisé elle semble pourtant soucieuse.
Qui est-elle. De quoi ses rêves sont-ils faits. Mon regard posé sur elle me semble un peu volé.
Je n'ose pas la regarder.
J'aime ses yeux qui s'étirent lorsqu'elle sourit, le jour.
Là, elle me rend tendre, mais me fait un peu peur.

Elle s'est réveillée, avec une toute petite voix à peine perceptible.
Ses yeux se sont étirés quand elle m'a sourit bonne nuit, puis ses pas ont effleuré le bois de l'escalier qui plonge vers nos chambres, sans même le faire craquer.

Je me sens bien ici.
Je me sens chez nous.


Friday 5 January 2007
It's weird how leaving this apartment I've been living in for 3 years is giving me a melancholic feeling. I really had enough of this place, and therefore I had decided this move for a long time. Now that the day have come, each piece of furniture that I'm removing reminds me of the moments attached to it.

This place has been, somehow, the shelter inside my exile. I had never really bared the city and the surroundings. The view from the third floor's balcony wasn't something one could call beautiful. It was grayish, tasteless, uninspiring, thus I've always had a tendency to shut the windows and live confined between those walls, with my paintings and my inner visions. With time this apartment turned into a painter's workshop. When I think about it, I have painted seven canvas there _ almost all of them. Not a lot of people have passed that door, but those who came hav approached closely my artistic cell, and somehow, played a role in it.

At last. This isn't that easy to deconstruct piece by piece this little universe. Somehow, it was the symbol of my resistance to the void and the gray that resided outside; this place has accompanied me all along my interior quest; and here, through those endless moments of loneliness, through the music that was played, and with the ones that were beloved, I've learned so much about myself. I've found how rewarding were the struggles, the pains endured, the doubts, when eventually you become your true and sincere self _ and not what the outer world urges you to become.

I've hated that place. As contradictory as it might sound, the rage I felt towards its emptiness, its cold, has pushed me towards a better me.

Exile, I'm leaving you.
But I thank you too.
I've been lonely but safe. I felt angry but loving too.
I'm leaving you and I am freed.
I'm a bird.
Except that now,
I am able to fly.

I wish you love

Monday 1 January 2007
I dared to try for new year's eve being alone with all that I thought was truly important to me.
I opened up a small bottle of white Chardonay. The spaced was filled with the transcendent voice of Loreena Mc Kennitt, from her latest album; thereafter the piercing voice of my beloved cousin, and a letter with her warmhearted words lying there on the table. Candles. A beautiful book with photographs of statues of angels. My favorite mustard flavored potatoes chips.
The thoughts of all the people I cared for.

Me and the paint.

This is the most deep, sincere, and mystical midnight supper I have ever made.

I have painted until 3:30 in the morning that night.
I'm getting better everyday at opening, almost on demand, that little door I found within my heart. The little one that reveals the underlying truth.

. Loneliness, Light and Love .

Little hints of color yellow
You know you hold bits of light in you fingers
And their warmth glow
and it spreads shivers
Into you blood, into your chest
Oh I Love, I Love, I Love
It dwells inside my heart
And it makes me fragile and free

I wish you knew
I'll do my best
I wish you knew
I'll do my best to paint it out for you

I'm glad I can offer you those little pictures of the loveliest twin lambs that can be. They were born this very morning at my aunts' farm, to celebrate the first dawn of a brand new year.
Jan. 07
1/1/2007 I wish you love
5/1/2007 Leaving
14/1/2007 Endormie
31/1/2007 Port de la Lune