No angels

Saturday 29 March 2008
Yes, it seemed I was back to painting churches. I didn't know why and didn't ask for clues. Answers came anyway; and I didn't expect this much.
And now. where are we?
080331 Painting churches

The convenience of having ennemies

Wednesday 19 March 2008
I saw him.
_ my best enemy.
It was one of those casual mornings, during my new routine consisting in traveling from home to the office every day by tram. Past ten in the morning, the crowd gets sparse and only made of the retired persons, the slow-waking students, or the high-inertia freelance guys like me I suppose. A cloudy and quiet moment five years after I casted that purse on him, urging him to never cross my way.
I saw him by the window, walking calmly across the large, empty Pey Berland square, alone and serene under the protective gaze of the immense cathedral.

I remember back in time. He was the ideal suspect, not high enough in the hierarchy of friends to get sacrificed without too much loss. I realized much later, when time had passed and I had grown to minimize the sorrow of defeated self-esteem, that I needed him, to provide me with the comfortable reason for my own failure.
And it's been five years now.
I look at my best enemy by the window as the tram slides along the large curve surrounding the square. The same man as before, with the same inexpressive face. I want to feel pity ( anger has faded away long ago ). Instead comes a seemingly excitement, and suddenly, staring at the silhouette walking, I realize that some admiration sustains my look. Or is it fascination for my only enemy? I look away like caught in the middle of a vicious mania, and concentrate for some old anger to resurface and wipe out that feeling. I have my pride, you know.
I should be ashamed to ever show that I care the slightest bit. It's been five years now. Curse over. He's right on time, there walking before my eyes, while I'm trapped behind the glass window; the man to which I had promised a punch in the face is right on time, after five years, to remind me how much he succeed where I failed.

Mar. 08
19/3/2008 The convenience of having ennemies
29/3/2008 No angels